MY GRANDMA ASKED FOR A BLOWJOB AT THE SALON INSTEAD OF A BLOWDRY
okay i need to just shut up and not complain ever again about being unloved seeing as i broke up with my babbi today;…
and uh. he’s pretty darn upset.
i cant sleep.
I thought this was a really large dog for a second, but then the realization hit me.
If we’re friends, there’s a 106% chance that I’m always petrified that you secretly hate me.
IT GETS ME EVERY TIME
whens chip skylarks next tour
this is just about the greatest thing i’ve ever seen
my dads first facebook status in over a year
- BAD WORDS TO NEVER USE NOT EVEN ADULT CAN USE
- frick frop
- heckle deckle
- diddly darn
- zoowe mama
do not ever use words like these or else u will be grounded by oboma
My dad’s exact words when he gave me this were “I know you need new stick thingies for your 3DS so I bought you this rainbow collection ‘cause you like those weird alien things that have homosexual feelings for rainbows.”
Thank you dad.
literally perfect parent
WE WERE WATCHING THIS MOVIE IN GYM AND THE MAIN CHARACTER WAS LIKE “I’M TIRED AND HUNGRY AND HORNY” AND ME AT THIS OTHER CUTE GUY IN THE BACK JUST BOTH GO “SAME” AND LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND I WINKED AND EVERYONE WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE BUT I WAS LAUGHING REALLY HARD AND THIS IS WHY I DONT HAVE FRIENDS
can we have a tumblr marriage for you guys?
IM ACTUALLY CRYING