kanyewesticle:

MY GRANDMA ASKED FOR A BLOWJOB AT THE SALON INSTEAD OF A BLOWDRY

okay i need to just shut up and not complain ever again about being unloved seeing as i broke up with my babbi today;…

and uh. he’s pretty darn upset.

oh.

i cant sleep.

tomatoterror:

a redraw of a thing 
also:

fedorapunk:

I thought this was a really large dog for a second, but then the realization hit me.

thiinka:

dirkfromstatefarm:

What is even happening
This is stupid

yes this is good

no

escapistaz:

If we’re friends, there’s a 106% chance that I’m always petrified that you secretly hate me.

dietchola:

IT GETS ME EVERY TIME

rneerkat:

whens chip skylarks next tour

fmptard:

this is just about the greatest thing i’ve ever seen

egberts:

my dads first facebook status in over a year

internet-slang:

• BAD WORDS TO NEVER USE NOT EVEN ADULT CAN USE
• heck
• heckaroo
• frick frop
• nincompoop
• heckle deckle 
• diddly darn 
• pokémon
• zoowe mama

do not ever use words like these or else u will be grounded by oboma 

 

equius-smash:

davidsonstrider:

My dad’s exact words when he gave me this were “I know you need new stick thingies for your 3DS so I bought you this rainbow collection ‘cause you like those weird alien things that have homosexual feelings for rainbows.”

Thank you dad.

literally perfect parent

sherlockedbyphaninthetardis:

davedirk:

davedirk:

lauraforgood:

m33wlin:

WE WERE WATCHING THIS MOVIE IN GYM AND THE MAIN CHARACTER WAS LIKE “I’M TIRED AND HUNGRY AND HORNY” AND ME AT THIS OTHER CUTE GUY IN THE BACK JUST BOTH GO “SAME” AND LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND I WINKED AND EVERYONE WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE BUT I WAS LAUGHING REALLY HARD AND THIS IS WHY I DONT HAVE FRIENDS

can we have a tumblr marriage for you guys?

seems legit

woops

IM ACTUALLY CRYING